The Lockdown Chronicles — Day 9, 4 April 2020

Welcome to day 9 of lockdown in South Africa. Although 9 is a magical number, I can’t say that the day has been very magical thanks to a pounding headache…
This meant that I only wrote about 200 words on worldbuilding and crocheted a bit in-between sleeping for stretches of time. Soft Baroque music helped a bit for this, as did the soft rain that we’ve had most of the day. Luckily I am starting to feel better now, yay!
I was still listening to this playlist today. I love it!

Writing and worldbuilding

That said, the 200 words that I wrote actually sorted out part of Ruon Chronicles that I’ve been struggling with. You see, I’ve been writing bits of worldbuilding during the evenings this week — just the kind of train of thought stuff that usually makes me move forward with a story world — and figured out quite a few plot points.
Unfortunately it does contain a lot of spoilers, so I can’t just copy and paste the whole thing onto the blog! So I’ll try and see if I can strip it down tomorrow into a blogpost that makes sense and won’t just go and spoil the story.

Introspection

I think that one thing this lockdown is doing, is making people more introspective than usual. (Perhaps it’s just the content that I’m still consuming, but hey.) This emotion that I’m feeling is almost the kind of existential-crisis-introspection-wondering-if-you’re-actually-living-your-life thing that I feel at funerals and other somber occasions. Or, you know, when I start getting depressed.
(Don’t worry, I am taking my meds and have enough meds and everything, and I can still “see in colour”, so it’s not like full-blown depression. I am keeping an eye on it, though.)
I think that the numbers are just overwhelming at the moment. And my brain just absolutely loves milling about thinking of all the families and people and how this changes everything for them, etc. It also loves to worry more than probably necessary about people with other ailments getting the help that they need from doctors and hospitals now. My brain loves rabbit holes. No wonder I have a headache of note.

One thing that I have found helpful, is Mur Lafferty’s I Should Be Writing podcast, where she talks from a personal perspective on how this pandemic is affecting her and others.
The last two was titled “Mourning Time” and “Comforting or Comforted?” and really hit home.
I think I am not allowing myself to feel the full force of the changes that this pandemic is causing and trying to be happy and everything while this is raging on as a kind of barrier between me and the sorry, trepidation, and anxiety that I’m feeling. So that’s something to work on — especially since I still have (at least) two weeks of lockdown ahead of me.

In other news, here’s an interview with John Lennox that is quite helpful. But, then again, I find his talks and interviews helpful every time, so… if you enjoy it, there’s a lot more on YouTube!

It also feels weird that there won’t be church over Easter. We all got an SMS about Palm Sunday this afternoon (I have yet to venture into the wet garden to get a branch that will have to do for a palm) and it was quite somber in a hopeful way. A bit like Sam’s song in Mordor.

Anyway, I’ll hopefully be back to a routine on Monday (Sunday is usually quite routineless) when it’s back to work. I am so thankful that I am one of the lucky ones being able to work from home in this trying time.

Take care of yourselves, stay safe, and stay healthy.
Until tomorrow.

Published by Carin Marais

Bibliophile, writer of speculative fiction, non-fiction, and maybe-fiction, language practitioner, doer of stuff.

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